In a world of achievments, spotlighting and, whether we like it or not, keeping up with the Joneses; We often focus on what we can't do, our struggles, what drags us down. We are our own worst enemies and do the most damage to ourselves.
In teaching, we work on focusing on strengths. Building up the bad through working on the good. I help children feel good about what they can do and encouraging the rest to grow as it can.
As a parent, I forget to do this. I love my babies- I can see what they are good at ~ but when their weaknesses jump out, I freak out. The teacher and mom in me go absolutely nuts. I think of ways to review, tweak instruction, find extra minutes in the day to practice instruction, talk to them about different problems, model good behavior, you name it ~ I try it. I get all worked up, worry the girls, make them feel terrible, make myself feel terrible, then after they go to bed or leave for school ~ I worry some more.
Problem solved? Doubtful. Typically, shortfalls resume and disappointment ensues.
So then I go back to ~ strengths. They make us feel good. They make us feel STRONG. Unstoppable. Amazing. How do I use them at home, like I would in the classroom?
Let me share with you my journey. This won't be a one shot posting wonder. This will be on-going. This will be full of struggle and full of freak outs. Promise. But what I am confident in is: it will end in some STRONG, amazing, confident, unstoppable young ladies. Promise.
Here is where we start: WHAT ARE YOUR STRENGTHS?
Not my strengths or your strengths. What are your child's strengths? Do they know what they are good at? Are you sure? Do they like being good at them? Focus on that. Be confident in that.
* Personality Traits.
trustworthy, dependable, responsible, funny, outgoing, creative, stubborn, energentic, talkative, logical, personable, curious, epathetic, silly, caring, friendly, determined, responsible.
My challenge to you: make a list of your oldest child's strengths. Look at those strengths and process what that means for their journey in life. And I mean really think about it. Then- make a list of their weaknesses... where can those strengths carry them through the difficult times where their weaknesses may make it even worse.
Example. My sweet, amazing, empathetic middle child; she is loyal and loving, impressionable and a peacemaker. If she knows you, she wants to make you happy. I worry about peer pressure when she is older. I really had to think about what to build in her so when she comes across a situation where she thinks that she has to choose hurting herself to please a peer- that she can really be determined and focused on why she has to make a positive decision for herself and wy that will help her friend in the long run.
My middle child is so amazing. She loves- and oh- does she love. She will hug anyone through any problem. She will support everyone and wants people to feel good. Well, really, that makes this whole peer thing even easier. As long as I teach Miss Middle Child that she can support and love her friends through modeling good choices and not being judgemental, I don't think she will ever feel like she needs to make a bad choice to make a friend happy.
Spelling- It's another tough one for her. That's a skill we can work on- but truthfully, she is going to always need to be aware of her poor spelling abilities. I said she has to be aware, which she usually isn't. BUT what she is - is a rule follower. So new rule for Miss Middle Child: after writing sentences, or a writing assignment, someone must proof read assignment or she must be diligent about checking the spelling when she is done. It's a rule. She will follow it. That's her strength. It will help carry her through her spelling weakness.
See we all have great strengths. We all have weaknesses that tend to really kick us when we need it the least. What we have to do for ourselves, and our children is be tricky and smart about our strengths.
SO- Go do it. Start with the oldest. Make a list, then make another. Think about how you can intentionally set things up. After you are done with the oldest, move on to the next oldest. When you are done with your children- do your list.
I've been working on it. I have have three strong amazing young ladies for daughters. I have A LOT to work on. So - Let's do this~
